Our convent walls blocked us from the eyes of the laity, and by turn forced us to turn our own eye inward. And the deliberate merging of light and dark had become part of my self-scrutiny. During these late nights, after supper and prayers, after Mother Superior had walked the corridors, I kept two candle flames lit to let the shadows live.Want pulsed in my veins, this desire so intense that it was as if my body no longer belonged to me, as if I had given my flesh over to someone else as proof of my devotion. As if I had sacrificed myself. A vaporous mist clouded my mind, leaving space only for the purity of sensation. The woolen blanket covering me felt stifling. I pushed it aside, then reaching up to yank at the tight collar of my shift.Heat covered me like a cloak. I grasped the folds of the shift in my fists, pulling the thick material up to my hips. A crest of cool, night air brushed against my bare legs in welcome relief. I couldn't believe the fervor of emotions cascading. But she had always reproached herself, using only what was necessary as the situation presented. After all, this was a time of war, a time to fight the good fight, not to go off gallivanting in laboratories, studying esoteric lore and casting obscure spells. However, today, standing within the woods of Adair, standing alone against an enemy so great, so did she withdraw the charity of her limitation, letting loose the bonds that bound her as mortal. Never had she discovered the limits of her power, but this day, this dark and gloomy day, so black and wrathful and filled with doom, she would find the answer to that question, and face the only thing she had ever feared: herself. Tivanosa walked in the shadows of the twisted boughs, upon the highways of death, watching as great hordes of demons passed in the distance, their presence befouling further what once had been glistening roadways and sparkling streets. But hope sprung anew wherever she passed, for in her presence, so was the.
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